Life lessons | What people think of you

Is it a good idea to care what people think of you?

Social anxiety disorder (also called social phobia) is a mental health condition. It is an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others. … But social anxiety disorder doesn’t have to stop you from reaching your potential.

As long as you don’t lose sight of yourself. But if you think you do place too much value trying to please others, then it’s time to turn the focus on strengthening your sense of self.

For as long as I can remember I believed that caring about what people think and say about you is very important but truth be told there’s two sides to this perception.

Why you shouldn’t care about people’s opinions

It can prevent you from living your life, because your entire being (your personality, your thoughts, your actions) are controlled by an idealized standard of what people want to see. When you become so obsessed with other people’s opinion of you, you forget your own.

Follow These Practical Ways to Not Care What Other People Think

  • Remember that the negative comments someone makes is about them, not you.
    • Putting yourself out there is hard. It can be brutal. You could be the most talented, entertaining, sweetest soul on Earth and still be confronted with negative comments. No one is immune. Whether it’s a video posted, an article published, a piece of art created, even a single idea shared, anything can warrant a negative response in this day and age of strong opinions and anonymous digital presence, how you deal with it is entirely up to you.
  • Be true to yourself
    • When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.
  • This is your one life
    • Being in touch with what you want and what matters to you helps you prioritize, develop goals and ultimately get where you want to go. Discover what you truly want by asking yourself, “what really lights me up?, what matters to me? Allow yourself to think freely as you answer these questions instead of getting caught up in what you think you should be doing or what others would like for you to do.
  • Remove sources of negativity, immediately
    • With all the responsibilities that rest on my shoulders as a mom, wife and entrepreneur, I’ve learned that I must constantly delete negativity from my life. While it hasn’t been easy to pull off, making the conscious decision to remove negativity from my life has definitely been worth it. My health has improved tremendously and I’ve been able to focus on what’s really important in my life.
  • Focus on being in the moment
    • Be present in your own life. All you have is this moment so don’t let it slip away. Given the fast pace and hectic schedules most of us keep, a base level of anxiety, stress and unhappiness is the new norm. We may not even realize it but this tendency to get sucked into the pas and the future can leave us worn out and feeling out of touch with ourselves.
  • Think about why you care
    • If you care, it’s more likely to mean that you respect their opinion and view point, and that you’ll consider and review it, but still choose to go your own way. However, if you worry all the time, this takes it a whole lot further and can soon affect your decision making. You may become a people pleaser who listens to every opinion but your own, which, in the long term, can chip away at your self-belief.


Twenty Two Years

On 17 January this year we celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary. It sounds like a big number but yet it feels less than a decade.

Two kids later, career changes, sickness, health, a house we made our home for 22 years and plenty of lessons along the way. I cannot imagine these experiences with anyone else.

I’m writing this article in celebration of many couples hard at work on their relationships. I cannot pin point the secret to a long lasting marriage but I do know we all have our ups and downs and work extremely hard to stay happy. So far our journey has been filled with quite a bunch of lovely experiences and I can safely say that we are in a happy space.

Let me give credit where it is due, In good or bad, Mario has been the person I’ve turned to for over 22 years and whose presence alone gives me great delight.

As the years have gone by, we’ve learned a few key lessons that have helped us grow together in love and patience.

  • Communicate with GodPRAY

He is the only one who knows our hearts. Kneel in prayer and supplication as with thanksgiving. Let your requests be made known to Him who strengthens you. Without having God as the center of our lives I believe that we would never make it this far.

  • Communicate with each other

Constant communication was one of the first things Mario vowed to do before we even started our union as husband and wife. Share the good and bad and find ways to improve all the time. Communicating with one another sets a tone of kindness and willingness to mend the situation and hurt that is or could be triggered.

  • Make time

For so many years we’ve had the tradition of having a date night on a weekly basis. We might have missed some of these along the decades but this should be a definite must in every relationship. Our date nights are anything in between being fancy and not-so-fancy but it is the one night that we look forward to especially and do something soothing even just catching up and reconnecting given the fact that our weeks are so busy.

  • Being You

Imagine how important this factor is. It brings about so much happiness and contentment with who you really are in a marriage. In the beginning of our relationship we had some struggles with the two different personalities clashing but soon enough we started accepting and respecting each other for who we are and that alone brings joy and serenity.

  • Laugh

His laughter was the main attraction for me and the funniest thing is that he laughs at his own repeated tales all the time!