Life lessons | What people think of you

Is it a good idea to care what people think of you?

Social anxiety disorder (also called social phobia) is a mental health condition. It is an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others. … But social anxiety disorder doesn’t have to stop you from reaching your potential.

As long as you don’t lose sight of yourself. But if you think you do place too much value trying to please others, then it’s time to turn the focus on strengthening your sense of self.

For as long as I can remember I believed that caring about what people think and say about you is very important but truth be told there’s two sides to this perception.

Why you shouldn’t care about people’s opinions

It can prevent you from living your life, because your entire being (your personality, your thoughts, your actions) are controlled by an idealized standard of what people want to see. When you become so obsessed with other people’s opinion of you, you forget your own.

Follow These Practical Ways to Not Care What Other People Think

  • Remember that the negative comments someone makes is about them, not you.
    • Putting yourself out there is hard. It can be brutal. You could be the most talented, entertaining, sweetest soul on Earth and still be confronted with negative comments. No one is immune. Whether it’s a video posted, an article published, a piece of art created, even a single idea shared, anything can warrant a negative response in this day and age of strong opinions and anonymous digital presence, how you deal with it is entirely up to you.
  • Be true to yourself
    • When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.
  • This is your one life
    • Being in touch with what you want and what matters to you helps you prioritize, develop goals and ultimately get where you want to go. Discover what you truly want by asking yourself, “what really lights me up?, what matters to me? Allow yourself to think freely as you answer these questions instead of getting caught up in what you think you should be doing or what others would like for you to do.
  • Remove sources of negativity, immediately
    • With all the responsibilities that rest on my shoulders as a mom, wife and entrepreneur, I’ve learned that I must constantly delete negativity from my life. While it hasn’t been easy to pull off, making the conscious decision to remove negativity from my life has definitely been worth it. My health has improved tremendously and I’ve been able to focus on what’s really important in my life.
  • Focus on being in the moment
    • Be present in your own life. All you have is this moment so don’t let it slip away. Given the fast pace and hectic schedules most of us keep, a base level of anxiety, stress and unhappiness is the new norm. We may not even realize it but this tendency to get sucked into the pas and the future can leave us worn out and feeling out of touch with ourselves.
  • Think about why you care
    • If you care, it’s more likely to mean that you respect their opinion and view point, and that you’ll consider and review it, but still choose to go your own way. However, if you worry all the time, this takes it a whole lot further and can soon affect your decision making. You may become a people pleaser who listens to every opinion but your own, which, in the long term, can chip away at your self-belief.



For today’s working women it’s nearly impossible to get a good 8 hour nights’ rest, agree? I know I’m not alone. My daily routine with all the shenanigans in between has taken a toll on my total hours of sleeping, so I’ve incorporated a few relaxing bedtime rituals into my night time routine to help ward off stress and set me up for a better night’s rest.


Running that warm bubbly bathwater in itself already gives an amazing calming effect and your body start unwinding. I don’t work after taking a bath as it keeps my mind occupied and in a spin about things out of my reach.

Not only does a warm bath make the blood flow easier, it also makes it more oxygenated by allowing you to breathe deeper and slower, particularly when taking in steam. Taking a hot bath or spa can kill bacteria and improve immunity. It can relieve the symptoms of cold and flu.


I learned my lesson, when consumed late in the day, caffeine stimulates your nervous system and may stop your body from naturally relaxing at night. Caffeine can stay elevated in your blood for 6–8 hours. Therefore, drinking large amounts of coffee after 3–4 p.m. is not recommended, especially if you’re sensitive to caffeine or have trouble sleeping.


While short power naps are beneficial, long or irregular napping during the day can negatively affect your sleep.

Another study noted that while napping for 30 minutes or less can enhance daytime brain function, longer naps can harm health and sleep quality.


Your body’s biological rhythm functions on a set loop, aligning itself with sunrise and sunset – Try to get into a regular sleep/wake cycle — especially on the weekends. If possible, try to wake up naturally at a similar time every day.


To optimize your bedroom environment, try to minimize external noise, light, and artificial lights from devices like alarm clocks. Make sure your bedroom is a quiet, relaxing, clean, and enjoyable place.


Consuming a large meal before bed can lead to poor sleep and hormone disruption. However, certain meals and snacks a few hours before bed may help.


Listening to relaxing music, reading a book, meditating, deep breathing, and visualization automatically puts me in a calmer state and it helps with a peaceful night’s rest.


I’ve been guilty of the above and it disturbed my sleep tremendously, so try not to drink fluids 1 – 2 hours before bedtime and try to use the bathroom right before bed.

I hope you enjoyed this article and put it to good use in your daily life. Kindly leave a comment to indicate if you enjoyed my blog article


In my experience of working a 9 to 5 job, life can become a bit of a bummer when you’ve worked for so many years and whether you have good or bad days, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ve created a list of 7 ways on how to maintain a good relationship at work


When you smile, you light up the room. You create a positive presence and at the same time the person receiving your beautiful smile return it and shares it with others. It has been said that a smile gives you an instant facelift so what better than only a smile.


My mother taught me that by greeting someone you’re acknowledging the person and wishing her well on her way. A greeting says, hello, may you go well. When someone doesn’t return your good gesture, let it go, we all have our moments in life.


Being polite is the sweetest and kindest form of a person’s anatomy. Showing consideration for others, using tact and observing social norms are the qualities of being polite.


Try to establish a connection with your audience. A deliberate look in the eyes of an audience member can communicate how much you care about their thoughts. When you look the person in the eye, you communicate confidence and belief in your point of view.


Show interest in your colleagues often by talking and listening to them. Don’t take advantage of a listener by doing the talking all the time. Engage by asking questions.


Positive thinking is a mental attitude in which you expect good and favorable results. In other words, positive thinking is the process of creating thoughts that create and transform energy into reality.


A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Tasteful humor is a key to success at work, but there’s a good chance your co-workers aren’t cracking jokes or packaging information with wit on a regular basis

Speaking of experience, even people who aren’t always comfortable sharing their humor (like me) tend to do so in more relaxed environments where the use of humor becomes second nature with everyone’s style.

  • Humor improves productivity
  • Reduces stress
  • Prevents burnout
  • Provides motivation

Herewith I wish you survive every day 🌹



This ‘go to’ product is a must have for make-up users and it is also very gentle.

Micellar water like Nivea Perfect & Radiant Micellar Water is a cleanser that contains micelles, these suspended surfactant molecules are hydrophilic and oleophilic meaning they attract water, oil and the dirt that comes with them which then combined with a cotton pad or wipe work to remove stubborn make-up.

You might ask what are Micelles?

Micelles are virtually invisible concentrated molecules that are both ‘water-loving’ and ‘fat-loving’. This means they can remove dirt which is water-soluble and fat-soluble because they are naturally attracted to oil and water based substances.

  1. EPIMAX Cream Emollient Moisturiser

I’ve been using the Epimax Cream Moisturiser daily for 2-3 weeks now and it has been the solution to my dry skin. It has a soft creamy texture and it is fragrance & colourant free.

It’s a pure cetomacrogol and glycerine emollient cream for all skin types and dry conditions, including eczema and psoriasis. It can be used as a soap substitute. 

Epimax® tested cream emollient moisturiser for all skin types. Hypo-allergenic, fragrance and colourant free with Cetomacrogol and glycerine 400g.


The first time I discovered LORéal Paris Magic Retouch I celebrated, since it was the end of my grey hair days.

This Instant Root Concealer Spray perfectly blends with your hair colour, offering temporary grey coverage. With quick-drying cover in seconds, it will last until you shampoo your hair again. The colour comes in Dark blonde, Light blonde, Dark brown, Brown and Black.

  1. Bio-Oil Skincare Oil

The main reason why I like Bio Oil Skincare Oil is that it has a non-greasy texture and can be used on the face and body due to the Vitamin A in the product.

Bio Oil is particularly famed for its ability to tackle scars, stretch marks, dry skin, uneven skin tone and other skin imperfections. According to the official Bio Oil website, the product is suitable for all skin types and ‘promotes healthy, radiant skin’.

Bio Oil skincare Oil helps improve the appearance of both new and old scars. It helps reduce the possibility of stretch marks forming during pregnancy. It helps improve the appearance of uneven skin tone in both light and dark skin types and smooth, tone ageing and wrinkled skin on both the face and body and helps retain moisture.

  1. Sanex Shower Gel

Of all the shower gels I’ve tried over the years Sanex Dermo Pro Hydrate Shower Cream is the best product for my dry skin concerns. As my skin mature it needs more moisture and hydration.

It offers deep moisturisation, improves your skin’s protective barrier and restores your skin’s natural ph. Sanex shower cream is a shower and bath gel that keep skin soft and healthy.

My Story: World Mental Health Day

  • Have you ever felt that life is so hard that sometimes it’s not worth living?
  • The pain seems overwhelming and unbearable
  • You feel hopeless, like there’s no point in living
  • You are consumed by negative and disturbing thoughts
  • You cannot imagine any solution to your problems other than suicide
  • You imagine death as a relief
  • You think everyone would be better off without you
  • You feel worthless and lonely when you do have friends and family
  • You fail to understand why you are feeling or thinking this way.

I have felt this way some time mid last year and it was tough. When I look back, I remember feeling lonely, empty, overwhelmed, tired, hopeless, picturing my suicide, planning it on most days. All I could think of was how am I going to do this and when. Death felt like a way out and sleeping was what I looked forward to every day. I needed to be absent and invisible to everything and everyone. I wanted to die and the saddest part was I had no idea what was happening to me and why it happened. I felt guilty to leave my kids behind but I thought it would be better for them that way and that they would hurt for a little while but be okay shortly afterwards. My brain was fuzzy, I had disturbing thoughts and I just wanted to hide in a dark place. I felt disconnected from the world and struggled to communicate. The fact is, even though I was loved and had family to reach out to, I didn’t, I couldn’t even speak, I couldn’t think straight and I stopped living my life the way I used to. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to pretend everything was okay but I had to endure. I went to work every day and pretended to be okay. “They said I’ve changed and that I’m different but I avoided eye contact and just brushed it off”.

One day, engrossed in my thoughts, I researched my symptoms and came across an article that explains everything I needed to know about my condition. I remember thinking about it for a very long time before deciding to open up about it. I confided in my eldest sister who advised me to get help. I was fortunate enough to learn that she too survived the torture and agony of depression. She understood me, she regularly checked up on me and she guided me along the way. At least I had someone to turn to.

My advice to those feeling a sense of depression and suicide reading this today is – find someone to confide in, talk about your condition. There is help out there. I didn’t believe anything or anyone could change my mind but support, love and guidance, even a word of advice from someone might help you. I didn’t believe it would, but it did.

Those in a position to help someone – please reach out.

What you can do is:

  • Find an appropriate time and a quiet place to talk about suicide with the person you are worried about. Let them know that you are there to listen.
  • Encourage the person to seek help from a professional, such as a doctor, mental health professional, counselor or social worker. Offer to accompany them to an appointment.
  • If you think the person is in immediate danger, do not leave him or her alone. Seek professional help from the emergency services, a crisis line, or a health-care professional, or turn to family members.
  • If the person you are worried about lives with you, ensure that he or she does not have access to means of self-harm (for example pesticides, firearms or medication) in the home.
  • Stay in touch to check how the person is doing.

For information on a Dr or Psychiatrist or clinic near to you please contact SADAG on 0800 21 22 23 or 0800 70 80 90 Seven days a week, from 8am to 8pm.

Also follow me on Instagram @variety_mom